What do I know about weight loss? Probably as much as any other person that has struggled with their weight. Dieting stinks! Grab a tea/coffee and sit with me for awhile.
So, I was an average weight child (as per Doctors), up until I was about 8 years old. Then I was a chubby child. It bothered me, because I hated my clothes feeling tight on me. I hated being bullied at school. I hated that chocolate was not a food that made you lose weight! My parents would tell me to eat well, not eat junk food. They did call me chubby and other names, thinking that would help me lose weight. It just made me more frustrated.
So the teen age years came and I was then a chubby teen. Kids were horrible to me, especially boys. I remember walking home to them singing to the rock song...THUNDER da na na na na na na na, THUNDER da na na na na na na. Man, that was hard. I would think, am I really that horrible? Why are they so mean to me?!
Well, I decided to go on a diet before my sweet 16. I attended Weight Watchers with an aunt friend. Did I lose weight?! YES, almost to the point of Anorexia. Some Bulimia too, yes took laxatives occasionally to be lighter on the scale. The diet worked but did it really? Now I was struggling with hating food, food makes you fat is all I thought. I did not have a party for my Sweet 16, because I didn't want to look at food or cake. I so regret that now.
I remember I went on holidays with my Dad and brought a bag of diet slim fast bars so I wouldn't gain weight while we were away, because I refused to eat real food since I didn't know if they used oil to cook it etc. WOW isn't that just horrible, for a kid to have such a fear of food!
My dad was super worried and would call my mom for advise. He conveyed his fears to me, told me I was Anorexic. He threatened to go get me medical help. I don't think I saw myself as thin even though everyone said I was (that actually made me feel good). But, thanks to my Dad, he scared me back to reality, just a bit!
From 17 and on, I struggled with my weight. I gained some meat on my bones, a bit, I was thin and I was also an exercise junky. I had a serious boyfriend, I was finally liked at school and I was a good role model student. But I was a yo-yo dieter. It wasn't uncommon to go and down a few dress sizes each year.
I completed University, I had a full time job, I married my high-school sweetheart. I was still a yo-yo dieter. As the common myth goes, during the first year of marriage, I had gained over 20 pounds. I was chubby once more. Others would call me fat. All the memories of childhood were back to haunt me.
I really struggled to try to lose weight but it was so hard. I got pregnant with our first child and ate ate ate about 60 POUNDS worth of food. Yes I gained 60 pounds with my son. I was MASSIVE for me. Biggest I've ever been.
The family was concerned and would tell me I would lose weight after the baby, a bit of pressure there. I had our sweet boy. Tried hard to lose weight but it was hard, as is being a new mom. I lost maybe 40 or 50 pounds, but was still very chubby.
I got pregnant with our second child almost a year later. AGAIN I gained 60 pounds. Once again I was huge. Let's just say my feet are now 2 sizes bigger than before pregnancy.
I was truly depressed. I just did not know who I was. The skinny me was inside me and I didn't like who I saw when I looked in the mirror.
During Maternity leave I remember watching OPRAH. The show was still on the air. I think she was struggling with weight at the time. I don't remember what it was, what she said but it triggered something inside my head.
THAT WAS IT, today was the day. I was going to lose the weight that was making me so uncomfortable in my own body. I started on my weight watchers points again. I was a pro at this, a walking points calculator.
I also decided to walk each day, pushing a double stroller. Probably 30min-1hr daily.
I also promised myself not to worry or stress. I was going to lose weight to feel comfortable in my skin. I was not going to lose weight to look good at the party next week, Christmas, or even the summer wedding coming up.
I listened to my feelings.
NO, this was it, my new path, and I would reach it when I reached it, not stressing on when that might be.
I would like to report, I worked my hind off and lost over 100 pounds!
TAKE THIS AWAY! The food did not make me happy or sad. How do I feel when I eat this junk food, before and after. No different, so why eat the empty calories!?
A carrot or a cupcake after a few minutes of eating it will not feel any different to me. Sure the taste of the cupcake might be great but afterwards well it will only be a memory along with a bulge in my tummy. I am guilty of sniffing or taking a bit of something really unhealthy. And that's good enough.
I also started training at the gym when I went back to work and I was fit. I was fit. People would tell me I was too tiny. This time, I SAW IT too. Yes I could gain 10-15 pounds or so I thought.
I kept that weight off for over 8 years! I went up down again a bit around that mark, but I am also 40 years old now. My body is different and I ACCEPT THAT! I listen to my body. I don't really diet. The way I eat is now just the way I eat. I was running to Doctors complaining of IBS, gluten allergies, stomach pains! I cut the grainy carbs out, fruits and right away I felt better. My way of eating is in line with the DUKAN diet, but I've made it my own.
That's what it's all about. What works for the individual. I have read so many diet plans and tried so many. For me right now, the Dukan method of eating works for me, I alter it a bit to suit me. I also exercise 5-6 days a week, maybe 20-30min a day of combined cardio/strength training.
I hope that by sharing my journey with you, something somewhere here touched you. And if you are struggling with your weight, there is hope. You have to be ready and when you are you will reach your goals.
God Bless,
Mavra
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